Under appreciated

       Have you ever tried to help a friend or sibling out and in the end your just treated like shit? Well it has happened to me alot. I try to help out alot of people. I let them borrow money, i give them advice, i let them borrow my stuff etc. in other words i try to be the best friend possible for people. I have gotten fucked over so much its unbearable now. Well this blog shall be about my little sister karen. yes, the one that tried commiting sucided, the one who got stabbed in the face by her boyfriend with a bottle, the one who treats me like shit and i let her get away with it. but not no more im so sick and tired of being mistreated. I'm one of those people that if you mess with, or talk shit about me, or anything i will confront u, and i will most likely bitch you out in front of ppl for my enjoyment (yes ik im a lil bitch ) but anyways my little sister says rude ass comments to me and it just makes me so mad. I stood up for after the whole sucided thing and uk how she repayed me? she told me to stop being a 'good' sister, that she never asked to be one, so she doesnt want me to be. She later tried stopping a fight where her dipshit boyfriend brough a bottle in it (fucking pussy shit if u ask me) and she got ramened in the face with a bottle. and she still is with him. idk it was me, and my boyfriend fucked up my face, accident or not im leaving him. and now i hear that she is doing some drugs and someone was saying she had a pregnancy scare or whatever. her grades are shitty as hell and its freshman year, she is going down a very bad path. but honestly i have tried helping her, she has rejected my help. she doesnt want me to be a good sister, so i wont be. Im not going to waste my time and effort to try to help her out, if she doesnt want me too. and especially if she is gonna treat me like shit. But in time she will realize her mistake and see that all i ever wanted for us is to be close, family is everthing for me. I want to be close to my little sister, i want to go out on little dates with her, get our nails done, go to eat, uk just bond. but i guess im never gonna get that, not now anyways.

The one that got away

             Every girl wants to find that perfect guy, that nice guy who will treat them with respect, that guy who is romantic and hardworking and has a future. a guy they can settle down with. but meeting this guy is all about timing. if you meet him in ur early rebelliousness age then your not gonna wanna be with him and ur going to break up with him for a more adventurous guy and that nice guy will always be 'the one that got away'. i have had a lot of really nice guys try to talk to me but i push them all away, because well... i want me a bad boy! im young and i want adventures, bad boys are harder to tame and give you more of a challenge. yes, most of them are players or cause alot of drama but shit thats what girls want. but right now in my life those overly nice guys are really annoying. I hate it when they overfill with you will compliments. at first its very cute or even butterfly causing when a guy calls you beautiful and tell you how special you are, but after getting told that every single day, it doesnt become special anymore. it becomes just as bland as a turkey sandwich.
             Usually those really nice guys are push overs. They dont take charge they just do whatever you want them too. and you essentially whip them in the first week. We girls like a challenge, if your too whippable then idk i get bored and get over them and move on to the next. But if a guy is hard to get i still like them. You will stop at nothing until you get him. Its like when your parents tell you cant go to a rated R movie, and it just makes you wanna go to it even more because they told you cant.  Relationships should be a 50 50 kind of thing, when not just one person is wearing the pants in the relationship. With overly nice/pushover guys usually the girl gets like 100 control and well no one should be in total control of a relationship.        
               Usually a really nice guy loves to smoother you, thus becoming hella annoying clingy to the point where your suffocating with the stench of love and annoyance from that person. Yes, everyone goes through that couple stage where you want to be with that significant other 24/7 but if you with that person way to much, one of y'all are gonna get too much of each other and begin to feel suffocated. and that person will eventually get distance from the other and most likely cause a whole rukas of problems. once your with someone every single day you begin to get irritated with them, and little things will piss each other off. so take some space, let your loved one breath!
            There is nothing wrong with nice guys, every girl eventually wants to end up with one of them when they get married. but like i said before its all about timing, if you meet this person too soon, you'll break up with them. when your young you want to live, not be tied down. but as you get older ur gonna want to find a nice guy, and if you dont then well you might see that 'overly nice guy' as "the one that go away. "

The Wake Up Call

I blog whats on my mind, and well right now the only thing on my mind is my little sister. Today i had someone come up to me and tell me karen was "poppin pills'. I couldnt believe it because well she is my little sister and i dont see her doing anything like that. She kept telling me she was depressed and she hated our school because of the noisy people and that people were spreading rumors about her but i thought she was over reacting. but what i didnt realize was that it doesnt matter how small the rumor is, it still hurts. I haven't heard of any rumors bout her but im sure no one would tell me cuz they know i would bitch them out if they did start shit with her. I guess my little sister got to the point where she wanted to end her life. She tried to OD with some pain killers and the worst part is that one of her friends did it with her to get a high. Well all i have to say is that that 'friend' is dumb mother fucker and i want to kick your fucking ass soo bad. She knew how my sister was feeling and she still let her take the damn pills? usually when your friends are trying to hurt themselves your supposed to be there to steer them away, to guide them to a better path. but no, what does this dumb bitch do? She takes some with her. If your reading this right now, well congrats, i official hate you. and you dont want to be on my bad side. Anyways so my little sister takes these pills and i didnt even know. Next thing i know i get pulled out of honors lit by the principle and he is asking me a million questions about karen, and then i knew... i knew she really did pop those pills. and you know what is said? "That dumb bitch" but what should of came out was 'Is she okay?'. You guys dont know my little sister like i do. But yet again i dont even know her that well. This crazy stunt of hers proves that. Who would of guesses that my little sister would try to hurt herself? You guys can all call her stupid for trying this, but you guys dont know the pain that she is going through, shit i dont even know. Right now she is at the hospital with my mom. Im at home blogging because well i didnt know what else to do. I have to work today and i cant be with my little sister. But i know she will be fine, my mom told me so. The reason why im blogging about this is because i know ppl will talk shit about her, but the few people who read this, i want you to know what really happened to see that she isnt stupid, she is just hurting. I know everyone is going to find out, and everyone is gonna come up with some bullshit. but this was a cry for help, and i really do hope that my parents aren't stupid and bitch her out or anything. Fam[ily] is all she really has. I know ima be here for her. I'ma do everything in my power to make her happy, to make her realize that hurting yourself isnt the answer. I only have one sister. Yes she is a dumbass sometimes and i know i call her a bitch and all that stuff but she is my sister. Thats how sisters act with each other. I love that dumb brat to death, and i will do anything for her. Its a crazy idea that i might have lost her today. If she took just a little bit more of pills, she might not be here with us anymore... and well i dont know what i would do without her. who would i annoy in the mornings? Who would i gossip with? Who would i cuddle up to watch tv with? Who would be that bridesmaid in my future wedding? Who would be the aunt of my future child? Who will i play bingo with when im old and wrinkly? Who will be there for me when my friends are? My life will be empty without her. Its sad how i needed this to happen for me to realize all this. but sometimes you need a wake up call, and im pretty sure my whole family just got one.

i do not have an obsession...

       
 Some people just cant get over of the fact that me and prince royce are gonna end up together. Like their beginning to tell me that i have an obsession. Its not an obsession, its reality. Prince royce loves me... he just doesnt know it yet. Yes i do understand i sound like a psycho girl who is obsessed with a singer who doesnt even know who i am, but thats not the point. The point is that ima go to one of his concerts and he is gonna see me and cupid is gonna strike him with an arrow and well its gonna be love at first site. bam! total Disney movie material! Next thing you know where gonna have little cute caramel skinned kids with dimples to die for running around. And there is nothing none of y'all crazy bitches can do to change that. You try to break us apart... *Scary dark manly voice kinda like from house bunny* i will destroy you.... haha jk :).... no really i will. He is mine.

Psycho Girlfriends

       
 We all know at least one desperate girl, who always is looking for a boyfriend or who always has a boyfriend. They date one guy one week and are so in love with them and the next week their in love with somebody else. I just wanna slap the crap out of those girls until they realize they don't love them. The word love is so overused these days that most people forgot the meaning to it. I have never experienced love but i'm in no hurry. because i know that you FALL in love you don't search for it. I'm in awe on how stupid these girls are. Like there's some girls who will do ANYTHING to get a boyfriend or to keep them.
          We have the 'I'll Sex with you if you stay with me" girls, or the  "I'll hurt/kill myself if you leave me" kind of girls. those two are my favorite. *in black girl voice* Guuuurrl if he loved you,  you wouldnt have to do threaten him or bribe him in order to stay with you! Take the damn hint!
                                      HE DONT WANT YOUR CRAZY ASS NO MORE!
            Which leads me to the topic of them desperate crazy ass girlfriends. I feel bad for any guy who is stuck with your nasty ass. Them crazy jealous people are just not made for relationships, they should not be in relationships if their gonna treat people like shit and force them to be with you. If they finally get the guts to break up with you, dont be stupid and destroy their car. your not carrie underwood, you dont have to crave your name in the leather seats. Dont go leaving emo ass message on their voicemail. Dont threaten to kill yourself to make him come back to you.What your crazy ass needs to do is go to a damn therapist so they can find out what the hell is wrong with you.
                                          *Text Conversation*
GirlFriend- Heyy baby! lets go out to eat today:)
Boyfriend- ahh i dont know babe, i had a bad day today... im just not in the mood.
Girlfriend- aww honeybear whats wrong?
Boyfriend- i have a project to do by friday and my partner isn't really helping.
Girlfriend- well tell you partner to get their share done!
Boyfriend- yea i know, ill tell her tomorrow.
Girlfriend- .............
Boyfriend- What?
Girlfriend- SHE?
Boyfriend- yes she, anyways babe, what are you up to?
Girlfriend- dont try to change the damn topic! you cheating on me arent you?
Boyfriend- Wait what? no babe im being serious we we're partners for a project, nothing is happening between us!
Girlfriend- was she better than me?
Boyfriend- what no babe please listen, i didnt cheat on you.
Girlfriend- DONT FUCKING LIE TO ME! i cant believe you would do this to me! i even did a back ground check on you, i called you parents and talked to them, i even called you ex girlfriends. I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT!
Boyfriend- babe please.
Girlfriend- we are through! you are such a jerk.

If your relationships end like that, then well congratulations! you are a psycho girlfriend and well if you keep up your crazy act you will find yourself at the age of 40 with a 100 cats. and by the age of 45 all of them would of ran away cuz well no one wants to put up with you crazy self. 

Keep the innocence.

Sometimes i find it sad that little kids have done more stuff than me. I have heard awful stories about the younger generation. They have no self pride and its sickening what they have done with each other. I was walking home from work and i heard some little kids singing a song about vagina's and dicks and saying stuff like "jizz in my butthole' i just stared at them with shock. What the hell is wrong with these kids and how did they find about those kind of things. I didn't find out what cum was until the end of my 8th grade year, i didnt know the differences between oral anal and vaginal sex until freshman year, shit im still a virgin in every single freaking way! and these little kids are having sex or giving head left and right and some are doing drugs at an early age and its just plain ole sad. I honestly feel like social networks are somewhat influencing their behavior. They're friends with older people on facebook and we're all posting shit about drugs, alcohol and them hoe's. They look up to us and they just want to be just like us. But their not ready for our teenage world.  You have all the time in the world to be an adult, but you only have a limited time to be a kid. So treasure that, keep your innocence. Pass barbies, not blunts, suck on lollipops, not dicks.

Fam[ily]

In your life you will make hundreds of friends, and you will lose hundreds more. They say family is always there for you through your lowest points in your life. For the most part of my life i thought that was bullshit. I dont get along with my parents that much, and most of the time i feel like they hate me because of my one mistake i made. No family is perfect. Perfection is a myth. My family is a little fucked up, but whose isnt? My dad lives in the past, my mom is a drama queen, my little sister is a brat and my brother is lazy as hell, and me... well i can be the biggest hypocrite or the biggest bitch if you piss me off. But my dad is also creative and smart, my mom is beautiful and caring, my little sister can have the biggest heart when she wants, and my brother, well he is just knows how to make me smile when im down, and me well, im true to myself. Like i said perfection is a myth. No person out there is "perfect" like barbie or ken. so having complications in your family is normal and expected. I have had many "BFF's" in my life and they have all at some point back-stabbed me (except nayeli) when i came home crying, my other friends werent there for me and home to cheer me up. My family was. My little sister would sit with me and just talk to me, my mom would come up to me and hug me, my brother would annoy the hell out of me until i finally smiled, and my dad well he cooked me badass food so i can eat my misery away. The little things your family does to help cheer you up make a great impact. I know they do on me. I know i may treat my family like shit sometimes, but im going to change that because well by the end of the day, it doesnt matter how many friends you have, because their not always gonna be there with you. Friends change like the seasons. Family doesnt, they're always gonna be there for you. They will always love you and plus they have no choice they have to love you haha they're your family. Love and cherish them, and never forget about them.